rechord the melodies

i’ve just slept 2 days straight; courtesy, i think, of the h1n1 jab. very nice! i feel refreshed.

last night my sister flew off to china, so im v sad. at the airport i saw the ac netballers in their redbluegold sports jackets, probably off to a match somewhere, and i thought of us, dressed in our blazers, excited about sydney..

well all that’s in the past now, nobody really remembers..ppl more involved in band have more recent, more exciting band experiences to talk abt, perhaps its only ppl like me who reminisce. perhaps i regret not joining ntu band…but practices felt so draggy when i visited for a couple of weeks.

in school the other day i met samantha, sheree and was introduced to yuyuan (whose reputation precedes her due to her name i think) and they updated me on what’s happened to acband for the past..er..year or so. ah. my visiting frequency dropped after amirah’s batch graduated, cos besides friends, there wasnt anything pulling me back..it’s not as if i could help w music like guo or da or ben, the most i can do is pray for them as and when i can and send my best wishes through ms sng. which reminds me i promised to go visit her and the band..that was in may! what a procrastinator i am.

ok next week, hopefully. anybody wants to go with me?

and why am I the one doing the darned formatting?

oh great i cried onto my notes and everything just smudged like wtf.

have you ever woken up feeling demoralised, dejected, frightened, and have that stay with you the entire day?

i was walking with my sister, hand-in-hand, and she tripped, pulling me down with her. i looked at my sister and i as if a passerby. we bruised our knees, injured at the ankles and bloodied on the face. i woke up with a shriek, and tasted blood in my mouth. i’d bitten my tongue hard in my sleep.

having insomnia attacks again. it was getting better but suddenly its gone back to say 3hrs of sleep each day. im really frustrated because im so tired but i cant get any rest. actually managed to nap at amos’ for a while but he insisted i wake for dinner and now it doesn’t look like im gonna get any sleep tonight sigh. the insomnia did come in useful during camp though. it was very slack, more like a chalet really. played games on the beach and (finally!) visited the famous old changi hospital. held kaixuan’s hand the entire time, though we were in a huge grp of 24! madness. pity i missed icebreakers so by the time i went ppl had already broken up into cliques so i kinda tagged amy alot. ah well it was a nice experience, not shiong like i was expecting of infamous focs and uni camps where ppl just keep chionging, this was relaxed…i was hoping i’d get sleepier as i blog but it’s not working, sigh.

the other day i told amos off. he ordered a coke zero and i was irritated because just a few days before he visited me in ntu where they were practically begging you to take the free coke zeros and he refused to yet there he goes buying one.

today, my mother came to tell me i shouldn’t have done that. she asked, ‘did you notice that after you told him off he became awkward for the rest of the meal? plus you did it in front of the waitress. next time you should consider his feelings before shooting off your mouth, and you need to control your temper.’ i didn’t reply, then my mother went on to say, ’since you chose this man, then you should love him. nobody’s perfect, everyone has flaws, and if you can’t bear it then it’s better to break it off sooner rather than later.’

i wish he would wake up to talk to me. i feel so stupid writing (or, not writing) my assignment i need to talk to somebody i want him to comfort and accompany me but he isn’t there.

amos is in hospital for a day op and i feel bad that im not there with him. he hasn’t replied my messages or answered my calls, i wonder what he’s doing now and whether he’s ok. sigh.

‘May God bless you to live as long as you want to; and want to as long as you live.’

it’s not fun to travel when there’s an undone, unresearched essay looming due 2 days after you get back. should’ve thought about that before booking the trip, sigh. hope edinburgh’s worth that stress.

Please give details of any previous passports, covering the last 10 years, including where these passports are now.

__________

what, amongst the mess in my book cabinet. im pretty sure i can’t put that.