a rant
was walking with her to the front of the sanctuary when she waved excitedly to someone behind my shoulder. i turned to look, it was his parents, and they were waving back at her and smiling. i looked away fast enough to not have caught whatever possible reaction they might have had towards seeing me. it would all have been fine if it ended there, but she had to start a conversation
‘you know, they’re actually really nice’
‘ok.’
‘really, they’re friendly during nbc.’
‘ok.’
-realising the lack of response- ‘um ok let’s go in, i need to set up’
it’s not as if you don’t know that they’re amos’ parents, i don’t really care if you’re on good terms with them, if i get jealous it’s prolly just sour grapes, which is natural and sometimes inevitable. but you really didn’t need to rub it in and tell me that they’re really nice when you obviously know that i just went through an absolutely horrible time with their son. or perhaps she didn’t know before i don’t think i confided very much in her. still, it was pretty infuriating, because i know they don’t like me very much. bet they secretly think im only there to cheat their son’s money or something like that :( they never did smile at me the way they smiled at her. every time i visited it was only jay jay and furby who made me feel welcomed.
at a different time, she was around when i was complaining to j- about how his sister always looks me up and down before giving me a half (forced/faked) smile. she then proceeded to tell me ‘but she’s nice to me..’ gah, obviously she’s nice to you, you’re not her brother’s [ex-]girlfriend, of course she wouldn’t appraise you like that. i mean, i don’t know whether she’s just being tactless or blur or what, all i know is that her talk makes me feel miserable. and even blogging this makes me feel guilty, because she has been a good friend to me, and i really ought not to be bitching about her here but i can’t help it, i don’t have any other outlet.
i’ve mentioned his family’s hostility to him before, but he brushed it off saying im imagining things and being too sensitive or not taking the initiative myself (but i did, the first few times, that you didn’t notice and i didn’t announce doesn’t mean i didn’t do it). there’s probably some truth in that. and besides, it’s silly, really, to be complaining about his family to him. i’ll have put him in a 进退两难 situation, because if he disagrees i’d be upset and feeling misunderstood, but if he agrees i may despise him for not defending his own family.
but, what’s the point in saying all this when we’re not even together anymore?
p.s. pardon the unjustified and perhaps confusing switching between first and second-person
